“Acting funny is the worst thing you can do.”

— Woody Allen

“It MIGHT BE real, but it’s not interesting.”

— Jack Nicholson [speaking AS Kubrick]

“Psychologists will tell you that given the choice between being happy and right, most people would choose to be right.”

— Steve Kaplan

For a brief second I'm going to imagine how the initial phone call between the agency and Van Damme's Agent played out.  Here it is ... please note the dialogue will be forcibly on-the-nose.

--

The phone rings.

AGENT:
Hello, Van Damme's agent speaking.

He reclines back in his chair and plays with a stress ball. He listens to the murmurs of a pitch.

AGENT:
Yaah ... yaah he has been. 

He continues listening.

AGENT: Mmhhh ... interesting. Can I put you on hold?

He covers the phone and swivels to face a denim-clad Van Damme who's busy eating a bucket of moules et frites.

AGENT:
These agency guys want to book you on
an ad where you're doing the splits between
two trucks and driving in reverse on an airfield
in the desert. You in? 

Van Damme slurps a portion of the white wine broth from the shell of a mussel.

VAN DAMME:
Only if it’s at sunset.

He swivels back and removes his hand from the phone.

AGENT:
Okay. Let's do this, but it has to be at sunset ...

VAN DAMME:
And ... and it needs to be set to 'Only Time' by Enya.

AGENT:
... and it needs to be set to 'Only Time' by Enya.
[Long Pause] Yes, I'm sure.

He nods his head repeatedly.

AGENT:
Uh Huh. Yup. [Pause] Great.

He turns to Van Damme and gives him an air baseball swing as if to insinuate he's just hit a home run.

AGENT:
Alright. Speak soon. ...Yeah, yeah. Bye.

He hangs up the phone and excitedly swivels his chair around several times, landing to face Van Damme.

AGENT:
What can I say? The people love you!
You got the gig. They should start calling you
the 'Comeback Kid of Advertising'.

Van Damme stuffs a handful of frites in his mouth.

VAN DAMME:
(mouthful)
You're not the one trivialising your career in front
of the world for money.

AGENT:
What was that? Anyway, let's celebrate bitches!

--

UPDATE: I'm not to far off ... see here.

UPDATE 2: Interesting BTS with FX GUIDE ... see here.